Well, it's clear that at some point after Living Death's second full length, Metal Revolution, the band decided that they wanted to start getting serious about thrash. The common thread in this four-song EP is speed; vicious, relentless speed. Vocalist Thorsten Bergmann screams along in a register probably only reserved for Overkill's Bobby Blitz at this point, and the rest of the band screams along right with him. The songs themselves aren't exactly all that memorable or groundbreaking, but the aggression the band shows here is definitely a step in the right direction.
1. Nuclear Greetings
2. Bloody Dance
3. The Way (Your Soul Must Go)
4. Child of Illusion
Score: 6.5/10
If Deathrow's Riders of Doom (originally named Satan's Gift, which was banned or something so they renamed it) was as good as the crushing, dynamic instrumental that opens it, "Winds of Death", it would be one hell of a debut! Unfortunately, these Germans are a little overzealous and most of the album sounds as if it's in danger of becoming unhinged. There is a clear influence from bands like Slayer and Kreator, and there are parts of this record that actually sound fucking vicious, but the band has trouble putting it all together without sounding kind of ridiculous at times. Overall, a pretty enjoyable, albeit flawed album.
1. Winds of Death
2. Satan's Gift
3. Riders of Doom
4. Hell's Ascent
5. Spider Attack
6. Slaughtered
7. Violent Omen
8. Dark Tales
9. Samhain
Score: 6.5/10
It's not like Cyclone's debut album is without merit. I mean, depending on what you heard first, maybe you like it better than Feel the Fire, or Eternal Devastation, but I doubt it. This is not a groundbreaking release in any way, and while it may be a pretty spirited affair, the over-the-top vocals and pedestrian songwriting make sure it becomes nothing more than an also-ran in the great 1980's thrash race.
1. Prelude to the End
2. Long to Hell
3. Fall Under His Command
4. The Call of Steel
5. Fighting the Fatal
6. In the Grip of Evil
7. Take thy Breath
8. Incest Love
Score: 4/10
Wow, sometimes an album really surprises you. I wasn't expecting much from this British quartet, but this is some good thrash. Heavily rooted in NWOBHM, it's a bit of a throwback but this is some down and dirty, riff-crazy stuff with some excellent, powerful, melodic vocals over top. And really, that's it -- vocalist Danny Foxx is so likeable in his role that the rest of the band could be playing some pretty generic stuff and it may receive a passing grade. Luckily though, the instrumentation is up to snuff, so this is a very enjoyable experience. Also, with song titles like "Deathstiny"... I mean, come on.
1. Metalyzed
2. Gor
3. N.Z.F.E.D.K.
4. Lazarus
5. Red, Raw and Bleeding
6. Stormer
7. Taras Bulba
8. Deathstiny
9. The Third Wish
10. Death Heavy
Score: 7.5/10
At War were pretty standard fare for a 1986 thrash band. They were the thrashing everyman -- hard-working, full of attitude and enthusiasm, but a little short on originality and songwriting acumen. The album starts off well enough with the title track, then lulls for a couple songs before breaking into "Rapechase", a song that would be controversial if anyone ever heard it. It also sounds a lot like Motorhead which is funny since the next song is a Motorhead cover. At War do a great job on "The Hammer", which is a good thing but it kind of hurts their cause. It's obvious that "The Hammer" is head-and-shoulders a better song than any of the originals here and it kind of just makes me want to go listen to Motorhead.
1. Ordered to Kill
2. Dawn of Death
3. Capitulation
4. Rapechase
5. The Hammer
6. Mortally Wounded
7. Ilsa (She-Wolf of the S.S.)
8. Eat Lead
Score: 4.5/10
With a wicked name like Anvil Bitch, you would hope that they'd be more than some one album, flash in the pan. You would hope that they could do more than recycle Metallica riffs buried under generic thrash vocals with below average production values. Yet that's exactly what Anvil Bitch did. It's not totally fucking awful, but at this point, with more and more quality bands surfacing, 'not awful' ain't good enough. Throw Rise To Offend in the "Only Thrash Die-Hard Idiots Like Gord Need To Hear This" bin. Truly unremarkable.
1. Rise to Offend
2. Lie Through your Teeth
3. Vengeance of the Sword
4. Life After Death
5. Time to Die
6. Argue With a Sick Mind
7. Maggot Infestation
8. Neckbreaker
9. Arsenic & Cyanide
10. Fight For Your Life
11. Shark Attack
12. Anvil Bitch
Score: 2/10
When you come across an album that looks as ridiculous as this one does, your first thought is that it will be hilariously awful. With song titles like "Essence of Sperm" and "A.N.A.L. Spices", how could this be anything but a riot? Suprisingly though, once you get past the pretty shitty production, The Severed Erection is a pretty competent thrash album. The first two tracks, "Ejaculator" and the title track are good examples of well written thrash songs, as long as you can ignore the juvenile lyrics. The guitar playing is excellent throughout, leading one to wonder if these Aussies could have flown higher if they had decided to create a more intelligent image for themselves. There are far worse bands who had multiple releases in the 80's than Massive Appendage, yet because of their idiotic choice of a band name and album cover very few people outside of Sydney probably ever heard this album until the internet age.
Let me leave you with this: The chorus of the song "Massive Appendage" goes something like this, from what I can make out, "Massive cocks flying through the atmosphere. Oh my god they shot a load in his ear." Seriously. I could be hearing it wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's what they're saying.
1. War Zone
2. Ejaculator
3. The Severed Erection
4. A.N.A.L. Spices
5. Massive Appendage
6. Constable Nosey Parker
7. What's Happening to the World
8. Auntie Claire
9. Essence of Sperm
10. Interlude
11. Get Fucked
Score: 5/10
